Fred the Elfling here and today I'm really excited. I'm here with Doctor Tiberius Fuller himself here today for a very special reason. He's met Cinderella! This is fantastic. So tell me Ti, what is she really like? Did the glass slippers have an open toe?
Tiberius: What are you talking about? I did not meet Cinderella. Don't talk nonsense.
Fred: That's not what I heard. I have it on good authority you were involved with Cinderella herself. This incident is thoroughly documented and is being published under the title of "Tales of Tiberius: Cinderella 2.0."
Tiberius: Oh that. That wasn't Cinderella.
Fred: Then why is the story called "Cinderella 2.0?"
Tiberius: My brother thought it would sell more copies than if it was entitled "A brief study in the application of extra-planar energies in support of human relations with an emphasis on transformation of cucurbita pepo."
Fred: What was the woman's name in this incident?
Tiberius. Sandra Carpenter.
Fred: Un huh. Isn't it true that Sandra is short for Sandrine? And that Sandrine is a phonetic respelling of Cendrine? Which is a shortened version of Cendrillon? That is the French name for Cinderella. So "Sandra" is actually Cinderella and you met her, using magic to transform a pumpkin into a coach and got her to the ball on time.
Tiberius. It wasn't a pumpkin and you're making too much of a coincidence. Look this is my trouble with prophecy in general. I help out a poor young girl get to a ball with a bit of magic and people start calling her Cinderella. All these old folk tails have lots of different versions. One version of Cinderella featured a wishing tree, another a magic fish. There is even a tie in to King Leir. I admit the situation I encountered had certain loose parallels to the classical story of Cinderella.
Fred: So you're producing a magic coach for a young woman really named Cinderella and we're all supposed to think this is just some wild coincidence. I suppose if you meet some woman who's been asleep for 87 years that would have nothing whatever to do with Sleeping beauty, and a countess hiding out with six dwarves would have nothing to do with Snow White.
Tiberius: It would be an interesting coincidence and nothing more. Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if I did one day run into someone who had been put to sleep for a long time. There are lots of stories of that happening. Rip Van Winkle is another one. Anyone I find sleeping it's fifty-fifty if they are a man or a woman. As many Dwarves as there are living near by it would be a miracle if I didn't one day run into a woman hiding out with a family of Dwarves. As many variants of the old tales are out there almost anything that happens you can tie it in to some old fairy tale. Heck I killed a dragon, I'm not going to start calling myself Saint George.
Fred: So what you're saying is that having helped out Cinderella, you'll be moving on to assist many other classic fairy tale figures.
Tiberius: No, I said I was going to ignore any coincidences that crop up. If I found a giant beanstalk going up into the sky, I'm not going to start looking for a magic goose. You take the situation as it comes. In this instance I admit I took a bit of inspiration from the classic folk tale. I would hope your readers would focus on some of the technical issues that were highlighted in this incident. Especially the prevalence of charlatans, and the fact that even I, and experienced magician committed to the use of magic only to right injustice, was not immune to the dangers involved in this practice.
Fred: Right, thanks so much for answering, sort of, a few simple questions for us. For the real answers I guess everyone will have to go get a copy of "Tales of Tiberius: Cinderella 2.0"
Artwork Copyright Theresa Flaherty 2011