Fred the Elfling here once more. Today we're dealing with a bit of confusion that's cropped up about elflings. As you know, an elfling is the shorter version of an elf. You see a lot of us around at Christmas time, or some of us have gigs making shoes, or baking cookies. Later this year you'll be reading about the adventures of Snowdrop the Elfling (and Tiberius, of course) in “An Elvish Christmas and other stories.” But some people have become a bit confused because there are several elflings that appear in that story briefly and some people think all of them are Snowdrop. Some people think that I am Snowdrop. Apparently humans think all Elflings look a like, or that there is only one elfling. I am not the elfling that appears in the story “An Elvish Christmas.” To prove that, I've invited other elflings that appear in the Tales of Tiberius to a quick round table chat. Here we will prove once and for all that there is more than one elfling. Lets go around the table and introduce ourselves. Naturally I'll start with me. I'm Fred and I work as a reporter.
Snowdrop: I'm Snowdrop, I work at the North Pole in quality control for toymaking.
Fred: And you're the one featured in “An Elvish Christmas” and “The Secret of Santa Clause” which, with any luck will both be released later this year in time for Christmas.
Snowdrop: That's right, I'm really looking forward to that story getting out to the public.
Fred: moving around the table...next we have:
Robin Mayfair: I'm Robin Mayfair, Entrepreneur. I'm Maci's boyfriend.
Fred: What?!? No, you're not. You're a thief. She tried to kill you and then threw you in jail.
Robin: Our relationship has had it's rough spots, I admit. And I wasn't in jail, that's a viscous lie.
Fred: I've read the draft of “The Ninja and the Fairy.” Which is an account of your relations with her. I think arch-enemy would be a more accurate classification of your relationship. You didn't go to jail because there was a more appropriate punishment at hand.
Robin: I didn't come here to be insulted.
Fred: No, you're here for contrast. Just to show that while there are good and helpful elflings, like Snowdrop here, there are also useless vagabond elflings, like you. Next.
Bennie: Hi, call me Bennie. I'm also in “The Secret of Santa Clause,” but just briefly in the beginning, with my cousin Gumdrop. I'm a short order cook by trade.
Fred: And you're not me are you?
Fred: I guess that puts a rest to the rumors that there are only one elfling then...wait, you meant no, right?
Bennie: No,I am you.
Bennie: I'm a future version of you. You see, the fans had it right all along. There is only one elfling. I've traveled back in time to meet myself. Every thousand years or so I travel back in time and live through the same period. Aftere a while there is a whole villiage of me.
Fred: No, no, no, no, no. That's impossible. You have a beard, I don't. You're not the same height.
Bennie: Nothing a little magic won't fix. Next week I have to travel back in time and become Snowdrop here.
Fred: That's not true! Elflings are NOT time travelers! We're trying to clear up confusion. You are not helping.
Bennie: Oh. clear up confusion. Sorry , you didn't say that. You said 'deal with confusion.” I thought you wanted to spread confusion. My mistake.
Snowdrop: Bennie isn't really noted for giving straight answers to questions. If it helps I'll swear I'm not you Fred.
Robin: So Bennie is really you? Is this what they mean by 'identity theft?” I've heard there is money in that. Maybe you could give me a few pointers?
Fred: For the last time, Bennie isn't me, I'm not Snowdrop or you either. And I'm certainly not teaching you anything about how to steal peoples identities.
Robin: We get paid for this interview though, right?
Fred: (Sigh) I think I've had enough for this month. Hopefully we've convinced at least some of you that there is more than one Elfling in the world.
Bennie: Right to. Um...which world was that exactly?
Fred: (Sighs and bangs head on table).
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